Monday, September 15, 2008

Whiskey In The Jar

Stress is a crazy thing, and scary too. It can actually drive lazy bums like me to go study long hours



Cheryl: I feel a little guilty leh. You are actually more studious then me, when I'm taking O's

No need guilty larh. I'm taking my O's next year anw. Haha. It's really getting crazy for me. I'm afraid of taking the exams this time round. A lot more scared. I can see that I still have a lot of things to understand before I can say I'm actually exam-ready

I'm trying to keep my balance in studying and doing my homework. Seriously. Homework is a pain in the ass when you're trying to study and you know you have unfinished homework. T.T

Spent Sat and Sun studying chem, with a little pool on Sat

Didn't planned to go out study on Sat actually. Not until Jo said that Ben ask to go pool (Though Ben said Jonas ask him go pool) Either way, meeting them for pool at 3.30 so went to Macs to study alone from 12.30 - 3, before Jo came

Pool was, kinda tiring. I don't why. Maybe it's the exam stress that's catching up to me. I feel guilty when I was playing pool

Went back to Macs to study more after pool, from about 7 - 9

Sun had tuition in the morning, then went over to Compass Point BK to study at about 1.30. Studied alone till 4.30 when Cheryl came over. She cycled over hahahah. We left at about 7.30 when she had to go home for dinner. Grabbed a burger for Macs and went to take a walk over at Anchorvale, around the big field near the new swimming pool

Maybe it's really the exam stress that's coming to me. That was one of the most relaxing thing I've done in the past few months. Enjoying the almost no-car road at night, nice breeze that makes it really comfortable, a nice view on the right to the estate which looked small but it gave a warm feeling, and plugged in to my favourite music, I felt as if I forgot all my troubles and I'm standing on top of the world (The field made it that way)

It gave me time to think about the directions I was heading, reflecting about the things I've done, the people I've met, the friends that I have and bonds that were formed over the past few months

I don't know why am I feeling these. I feel like I need an outlet for all my emotions, all that are bottled inside of me. It really sucks to be holding back, and not to do what you feel. No I'm not being an emo elmo here. I'm just writing whatever that comes to my mind

I think I'm starting to feel that believing in myself is no longer enough to sustain. I believe what I believe, but now I don't even know what I believe in. I need something to anchor me to sanity

I don't know why is this so, but I feel like drums is the only place where I can be myself totally, and just let loose. Perhaps drums will be one of the best outlet for my emotions for me. When I pick up my sticks, the music starts, my body will start reacting to the beats, it's uncontrollable. I think I'm becoming one of those musicians who depend on their instrument to stay sane

I used to think that they are crazy, but it seems that the same thing is happening to me now. Guess it's me

I guess I've blabbered long enough. Back to work

Posted by trey at 7:03 PM