Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Last day
I'll be taking the last paper of my prelim one in about, 8 hours time?
Why am I not asleep? I just don't feel like sleeping
Many issues running through my mind now. Not that I am emo now or anything. I'm just having my moments of ups and downs, and this is my current down
I remember I once used seasons to describe the feelings of my insecurities, that they 'kick in like seasons'. It's like an on and off thing. Everytime I reach the top, I'll only be reminded that life's not perfect, and something will set me flying straight down. And when I thought things are not gonna get better, someone would be there to pull me back up
Perhaps I'm a too selfish person. I want things to go my way. I want life to steer the course I picture myself to go. I want everything to go perfectly. No screw ups, no obstacles, no failures. The irony is, these are the so-called, essential ingredients to success
But what if we taste this things too many times, over and over again? What can I do? Maybe it's time for me to reflect on my own actions, and take a look at what went wrong
A friend told me that he's losing faith in church. I told him, 'Sorry can't help you with that. I was never a believer in the 1st place'
Is it this non-belief that is bringing me down? Many a times, I told friends that if they really want to know if I believe in any god, I'll always jokingly tell them, 'I believe in the one I see in the mirror everyday' But it's true. I am a strong believer in myself. I believe that I do anything, as long as I believe hard enough in it
Perhaps i'll waver sometimes. But it's a test of faith and me
I don't really know where this post is going. I was just being random I guess
So when is the rain gonna stop?
I'm afraid that when the time comes
Our memories of each other
will fade away like how flowers wither
Posted by trey at 12:40 AM
