Saturday, May 22, 2010

Week 5

At 6 pm today (Friday), my Week 5 in Ngee Ann is over. School is mostly enjoyable, I'll say. I love school. But someway somehow, there's something missing. Can't really explain what. Meeting up with my Sec 4 class tomorrow. I'm really excited to see them again actually. It's been too long, too long.

I mean like, I love Ngee Ann, but I think, many Victorians who graduated with me would agree; VS is really a place we can call home. I find myself, feeling the need to go back to VS soon, really soon. To see the teachers again, to see the school again, to see the familiar faces again. It just sucks so bad, that I end so late on Fridays.

That being said, the past 5 weeks in school has been mostly, fun. And a good chance was handed to me, to grow up some more. I've learnt more about dealing with various aspects of myself. I learnt to understand that there are things that can't be forced, and I should wish the best for everyone. I too learnt that, I do have some form of analytical skills. Not that I'm a mind reader, but I can analyse.

I told Cheryl the other day, that I realised I've become more of an asshole after going poly, and I don't feel bad about. I said it to her in a joking manner, but to be honest, there's a certain degree of truth to it.

I feel myself going that direction, and if I don't reflect, I'm gonna become that self-centered and egoistic bastard, whom I'm hate. Great, now I hate myself. Rather, possible future me. It's worrying me, because I can't remember how I used to me. Or am I in the guys school to a mix studying environment kind of transition stage. I treat all my females friends the same way actually, but because we're close friends and that's why we keep in close contact. So it's safe to say they know me well

But what about here? After a few weeks in school, I realised no one actually knows me. Not that I am THAT bothered, but I wonder what impression do I leave to my new classmates. The classmates are awesome, as much as I know. I like my class. They're great and spontaneous. I love people like that. It's just that, I've been too comfortable changing environment and adapting myself, that I forgot my own basics.

I thought that I might have found people in Ngee Ann that might understand me better than the rest. But I guess I thought wrong. Or maybe you realised that you just hate my guts. I won't exactly say I'm not bothered by it, but life goes on right?

Like what's taught in SocPsy classes, "People interpret you through your actions, not intentions"

Posted by trey at 12:16 AM